In which a haystack gives advice

Jezebel and the dragon stopped arguing and stared at the haystack. “What did it say?” the dragon asked.

“Witches are like lettuce!” the haystack yelled in a slightly muffled voice.

Jezebel picked her way to the other side of the haystack. “What does that mean? Is it a riddle?” The haystack was quiet. “Were you enchanted or something? Are you really a gallant knight in search of true love?” The haystack seemed to shift slightly, but made no sound.

“Look, you big pile of dead plant-matter!” yelled the dragon, “You had better explain yourself right now before I light you on fire! I am a dragon, you know.”

This time the haystack twitched and cleared its throat. “Witches are like lettuce,” it repeated sullenly. “For they are likely to be found in the great Northern Lettuce Fields.” A gnarled arm popped out of the hay and pointed in a direction Jezebel assumed was north. “Or at least one of them is likely to be found there,” it concluded.

“Thank you,” said Jezebel. And the pair turned north, followed on the breeze by the haystack’s last dire warning, “Do not meddle in the affairs of witches, for they are subtle and quick to eat you…”

In which a haystack gives advice


  1. Lisa

    “Subtle and quick to eat you” … but will they be subtle about eating you, that is the question…

  2. Nathan

    That seems unlikely, as the precursor to such an event usually involves the shoving of one into an oven of some sort, though I guess one can never be too careful…

  3. J Sherer

    I think this could also be a Nathan Scheck installment. I would recommend, as a writer, that your pen name be: N Scheck (no period after the N). That’s what all the cool writers are doing these days.

  4. Nathan

    Yes, this one is fairly obviously me, isn’t it…

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